Good evening everyone,
Hope all is well with whomever decided to read this.
Anywho,
I did not get much sleep last night, due to my horrible habit of OVER-THINKING. I had a million questions flowing thru my head before I finally drifted off to sleep.
The first was: Why do good people suffer so much and bad people always have the best of luck in everything? For example; Girl has many boyfriends (that give her everything) who don't know about one another. Obviously she is a hoe, but she ends up with a great guy, good job, nice car, etc. Damn near easy and carefree life. ME; hard-working...2 degrees but no job. I love my current boyfriend, I don't mistreat him. Yet its so hard for us to just have an hour alone without somebody wanting something completely irrelevant to us. Unique family, yet, my own blood makes me sometimes question their loyalty. Why the hell is shit so damn hard for people who are genuine and want to see good in everything?
The next was: Why am I in school if this damn Bachelor's is not getting me anywhere? It's people that don't have degrees, but they have at least half decent jobs. The Master's that I am in school for...is it going to be just to say I have it? This type of mess makes me wanna say damn school if its not getting me anything but student loans that won't get paid if I don't have a damn job.
I know, I know. You want me to pray and I do A LOT. I sometimes feel like, why bother? I guess my faith is wearing extremely thin and I am in such a negative environment that I don't know how to pull myself out of this funk. I have never hated anybody. However, I think it's safe to say somebody is borderline. I swear the shit I deal with is going to be the death of my spirit if I don't do something. I'm tired of crying, praying, being angry, physically tired, mentally drained and feeling like I amount to nothing. Oh well, I guess I need to pray some more.
Good night all,
No comments:
Post a Comment